I started to write a “woe is me post” today — the camera is on the fritz, so I haven’t been able to take and share photos of the food I’m making… money is really tight, so it’s not like I’m making much in the way of exciting food anyway… plus money woes have a way of blocking out all the sunshine around me, and that buried somewhere in my heart. But after trying to write it three times, something in my heart (perhaps one stubborn ray of sunshine!) urged me to stop, and broaden my perspective a little.

A friend of mine passed away this past week. We are all in mourning, flabbergasted at the shock of it all, heartbroken for the family and loved ones whose grief is just that bit more public, thankfully or tragically, because of Facebook. I cannot imagine going through that pain.

But, if I may be selfish… it has put things in perspective. My friends and I have told each other how much we love each other so many times over the past week; and we normally say it a good deal anyway. We attended a wedding last weekend, that I believe was at least partly so joyful because we ardently needed to show God, and each other, how much we appreciate one another. I value more fully than ever those things that are truly important: a loving and healthy family, a fantastic surrogate family here in LA, a more-perfect-than-words-can-say husband, a living, breathing relationship with a real, majestic, perfect God who loves me (and you) more than I will ever know, despite all my faults…

Interestingly, Brad, the pastor at our church, gave a seriously GREAT sermon two weeks ago entitled Choosing the Life From Above; you can listen to it here if you like. Listen to it. It’s awesome. I love how Brad can look at a verse so oft tossed about that it has almost lost its meaning (John 3:16), and find a fresh, compassionate perspective on it.

One thing really stuck out to me…

Rather than focus on the snakes slithering at our feet, causing fear, panic, depression and a general sense of “oh no!”… God wants us to look up at Him. Like a loving parent, He sees our distress, and rather than just telling us to get over it, He offers us His hand and says, here’s a way out! We are to walk through the fields of snakes, trusting Him to lead us around them. Think about the Israelites in the desert:

“So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, he lived.”
Numbers 2:19

What are those snakes you ask? Well it could be anything in your life that you’re struggling against. For me, it’s the (irrational) fear that God has forgotten me, that He doesn’t care about our financial struggles… it’s also the constant tape of voices in the back of my head that say, “You don’t matter, you’re no good at anything, you’re just going to fail and everyone’s going to laugh at you, so why even try?”. Look down, and inevitably, in your struggle to avoid getting attacked, you’ll get bitten, and that poison will start running through your body so fast that you’ll forget what it was like to live without it coursing through your veins.

It’s a similar visual to the one where Peter asks Christ whether he can walk on water. ‘Cos heck, who wouldn’t want to try, right?!

Jesus, says, yeah you can Peter! Just walk toward me! But as soon as Peter starts to do it, he looks away from Jesus who’s waiting for him in the boat some distance away. He looks down at the unsteady, impossible waters below him… and promptly starts to sink. There’s something about focusing on our life here “below”, that causes us to sink even deeper into the muck and mire. Focusing up, on God and His faithfulness, impossible and as seemingly irresponsible as it may strike us, causes us to rise above it, to glide above it like those funny boats they use in the Florida swamplands (can’t for the life of me remember what they’re called)… because as Brad gently reminded me recently, none of this really matters.

It’s a common theme for me. You might remember my previous manifesto on the subject! I used to think that one day I would get it, that one day, I would attain perfect faith and never worry again about my future. It would be that perfect faith that would move mountains… but I’m realising that’s not how it is; even in my old age, when I’m wearing inappropriately bright colours that clash with my (hopefully full!) head of silver hair that refuses to stay in a bun… I believe I’ll be writing about this same thing, about how God is constantly asking me, “How much do you trust Me, little one?”. And that’s ok. He understands. His patience is never-ending. He knows exactly what I need to crawl a little closer to that potential person He sees in me.

And so for now, I choose to go easy on myself for not having that perfect faith yet. But in every moment I remember, I choose to look up, so that I can trample those snakes beneath my (kinda flat) feet and rise above the muck and mire.

-x-
aarti

I’m feeling a little left out of this season’s must-have accessory, but alas, there’s no way I can afford one at the mo’. Can’t wait until I can though! I’ll have a whole football team!

In the meantime, Bren and I spent an hour talking through potential baby names. When your husband is a creative, non-conventional and opinionated actor, you know you’ll have some crazy ones; his favourite is “Quest” if it’s a boy. Quest. Our son, Quest. He’ll have big ears, a big nose, unruly curly hair and will probably bury his nose in books. He’s just asking for a fight, isn’t he?

We both realised that we have more potential girl names than boys. Which is hilarious because, on Bren’s side, there’s only boys. No girls. He only has brothers. I fear for my future. I see lots of dirty, yelling boys running around me. I’ll get ‘em in a tutu though. Just you wait and see.

Sigh. Diet Coke and pizza-induced thoughts on a Friday night. What are you doing?

-x-
aarti

Sorry for the silence on this end. I’ve been working on this project for the past few weeks, one I’ll tell you about when I’m allowed. But thank you for your concern, and I’m sorry to have worried you! Planning on shooting some Aarti Paarti’s real soon!

For today, I’m relaxing in my PJs, re-connecting with my sweet husby, sipping on some hot almond milk (with a little Baileys, heehee!), and watching movies. Ah, bliss!

Oh, and guess what! For my Valentine’s Day present, Bren went through all his remaining DVDs (hundreds of ‘em!) and sold them… then he got rid of our old couch and bought a new one. It’s so cute, and he even found a cute coffee table. I love when he’s cute and domestic. Haha! It looks so adorable in here. I can’t believe he would go through all that trouble — he’s not the type to really care what he’s sitting on, or whether it matches — for me! Can’t wait to get a photo up of our new living room!!!

Ok, about to break in the new couch with a long movie, and probably start napping midway through it. Hahahaaha!

So good to be back! Thank you all for checking in on me!

-x-
aarti

Actually, here’s an idea!

If you like this recipe enough to try it, take a photo of your finished product, tell me about it in the comments, and I’ll send you my email address so that I can post it, with your name, and a link to your blog! Send ‘em right now!

Ok, so without further ado, my new breakfast lover is…. pumpkin oatmeal!

Oh how it’s autumnal flavours warm my bones on a chilly morning… how it’s burnt umber hue pulls me in for a cinnamon’ed embrace… and oh, how it fills me up for very little money! Woohoo! I also love the idea that I’m getting some veggies in with my breakfast. Plus, it’s wheat-free, a bonus because I’ve realised that eating too much wheat gives me heartburn.

So here you go. Let me know how it goes for you! This makes a pretty big batch, enough for 4 peeps.

1 14oz can pumpkin puree (the unseasoned kind)
2 cups water
2 cup almond milk (you can do 4 cups regular milk, or 4 cups water; almond milk is pricey, so this is my way of “extending” it!)
1/2 big apple (I had fuji on hand), cut into chunks
Handful of raisins
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 cardamom pod, crushed (optional)
Pinch of salt
Pinch of chilli powder (optional)
2 cups quick cooking oatmeal (not the instant kind; I love McCann’s Quick Cooking Irish Oatmeal, or Trader Joes 8-minute Steel Cut Oats)
Brown sugar to taste
Toasted pepitas

1) In large saucepan over high heat, combine pumpkin puree, water, almond milk, apples, raisins, cinnamon, cardamom, salt, and chilli powder. Bring to a boil.
2) Add oatmeal. Turn heat down and cook according to your oatmeal instructions. You might need a little more water if you like it soft.
3) When it’s cooked, add the brown sugar. Serve, topped with toasted pepitas.

BOOM!

Hunger pangs be gone! You’ll be full until… well, I get hungry every 3 hours soooo….

Send me your photos!

-x-
aarti

No!

Bren and I are back from our holiday in North Carolina. Man, was it good! And I almost feel bad talking about it, ‘cos it seems so many people had a difficult holiday in 2009: heartbreak, family illness or heck, just wanting the struggles of 2009 to be over already. If that was you, I feel for you, and I’m so sorry. But don’t give up hope; God is ALWAYS at work!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28

Both Bren and I are bubbling over with positivity for 2010. Partly because it sounds oh-so futuristic. (Doesn’t it though? Say it! 2010. Come on! Don’t images of galactic fashion and silver lipstick flash before your eyes?!).

Sadly, since our camera died, I have only few photos to show you, courtesy of Bren’s mum’s phone. How I wish I had more! Every year, we go stay with Bren’s family at their house at the top of a mountain in the Smokies… it’s the tiniest town, whose downtown is small enough that if you had a coughing fit, you’d miss it. At the house, there’s no cable TV, no internet access, no cell phone access… just you and a near 360-degree view of the Smokies. That view never fails to remind me how very small and powerless I am; every year I find myself saying, yeah ok, dear God. I get it. You’re amazing. Nothing I can do comes close to the majesty you have created here. Stop showing off, ok?!

Thankfully, God gets the joke every year. At least I think He does. That, or He just goes very quiet. Heehee!

This year in particular, God’s hand took my breath away. As we approached the town, we noticed a little snow on the ground, which is pretty unusual. No matter how much Bren and I pray for snow every year, we are always disappointed.

Ooooh-wheeee boy! This year made up for all the past years of sunny, dry Christmas’es! There was at least a foot of snow on the ground, so much that we couldn’t get the car all the way up the mountain to the house. We walked up to the house, opened the windows, and took in the view:

Then we bundled up and went out to explore the gorgeous-ity outside. I can’t think of the words to describe the beauty. It was a picture-perfect winter wonderland… untouched white snow, no footprints anywhere except for deer, and the hush! Oh the hush! I love how snow muffles all sound.

I’ll be honest. At first, I was kinda annoyed at the beauty around me, because everywhere I looked, I was met with another flawless scene of winter radiance. My brain couldn’t compute! Every bare tree was coated in snow, and you could tell that this amount of snow was out of the ordinary because the trees were bent over with the extra weight!

I know, I’m so ungrateful. Heehee!

In the following days, I built my first snowman, had my first snowball fight and sledded for the first time. It was so much fun! I love that I grew up in the desert, because whenever I encounter snow, I feel like a little kid!

-x-
aarti

I’m sure you’ve been BESIDES yourself wondering where I am.

I’m in Orlando, and we’re about to drive up to the rural mountains of North Carolina for a snowy Christmas. I’m so excited. One snowstorm just hit NC yesterday, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a white Christmas. Every year previous to this one, the mountains have teased us, blanketing the valleys with a gorgeous coat of snow over Thanksgiving; Bren’s mum always sends us photos on Turkey Day. But by the time we get there at Christmas, it’s sunny and all the icicles are melting. Funny how you interpret the same kind of weather differently. I’m sure the locals love watching the icicles melt in the spring. But at Christmas, it’s like watching someone throw perfectly good ice cream down the drain. Heartbreaking.

Ha! Don’t you like my similes?

Anyway, my camera kicked the bucket before we left (just add it to the list), so I won’t be able to upload any photos I’m afraid. But I hope that all of you have a peaceful and joyful Christmas!

-x-
aarti

p.s. Thank you SO MUCH for all your help on the Contact Lens front (see previous post). I’m going to Wal-Mart next week, but guess what? I talked to one of their guys on the phone, and he said, “why in the world is your eye doctor prescribing the most expensive contacts for you?” (My contacts usually cost about $300/year). He went on to say that as long as they fit comfortably etc, he could provide a brand that would cost only about $100/year, even with my horrible astigmatism! Isn’t that funny?! And wonderful?!

First, the woman on the phone tells me that my prescription has expired. Therefore, no one will fill my prescription.

But, I say, I’m unemployed. I can’t afford an eye exam.

Well, you can’t get new lenses then.

Oh no.

Were you going to order your contacts through us?

Yes, and I was going to see if you guys would give me a sample pack because I only need one set to get me through, and…

We don’t give out samples unless you buy the whole year’s supply.

But I can’t afford the year’s supply, hence the need for a sample.

We don’t do that. You need an eye exam.

I can’t afford one.

Well.

Are you going to release my information to me though?

Fine, I’ll email it to you, good bye.

I get the prescription, and go to 1800contacts to see how much they will be… hundreds of dollars, which I expected, and I felt the pinch, but I thought, oh alright, I’ll just deal with it and get ‘em.

But I can’t get ‘em. Because my eyes are so bad that their little drop down menu doesn’t even go down as far as my prescription calls for. Oh that’s right. The woman said that I have to get them custom-made. That’s why I used to order them through the doctor’s office. PLUS, even if I could get them in my prescription, I can’t because they need a valid prescription. And mine has expired.

What does a girl have to do get a new set of contacts, when she’s unemployed and strapped?

What a racket!

Love,
Desperately Seeking Contacts So I don’t Look Like a Dork for a Huge Opportunity Coming Up Next Year

Ain’t he cute? I just finished making him.

He seems to like perching on Bren’s shoulder, sort of like a parrot would perch on a pirate’s shoulder.

He’s the Jiminiy Cricket to Bren’s Pinnochio!

Want him to sit on YOUR shoulder? Come to the show this weekend and you can!

-x-
aarti

Mine’s white though — I’m out of light brown wool, so I’m just using what I have. I’m seeing it as a sheep dressed up as Rudolph. Ha!

The show is this Saturday, and I’m going to sing a carol on my uke I think, although I’m not sure which one. Here’s a taste of what to expect at their show! Aren’t they funny?

The proceeds of the art sale go to the Young Storytellers Foundation, a lovely organization that go into less-than-privileged schools and mentors kids into writing little screenplays — they then call in local actors, who the kids cast in their plays, which are performed in front of the kids and their parents.  Cool, huh?

If you’re in LA, come on down this Saturday!  It’s at this little spot called the LabCabin, right next to Jet Rag on La Brea. It’s free if you come between 8p and 9p!  $5 thereafter!

Alright, enough selling.  In the meantime, whilst I crochet the little sheep-reindeer, and sew Christmas pressies, watch this cool video sent to me by my friend Staci.  It’s a woman dedicated to historic gastronomy, especially dishes made by Americans back in the old days!

The Historic Gastronomist: Giving Recipes an Afterlife from SkeeterNYC on Vimeo.

-x-
aarti

Here, the newly weds beckon everyone to the dance floor…

…a call heeded by Bren and Crish…

I wonder which song Bren was getting into here!

Even Mum and Dad broke it down (very elegantly of course).

I love this photo of Rich — what a great face!

The father-daughter dance was really sweet…

…although it seemed to drive Rich to drink. Ha!

Bren and I looked pretty good, even if I DO say so myself.

Right? Mum, Dad and Crish got me that gorgeous salwar khameez in India! I LOVE IT.

I hate how I look in this one, but I f’in LOVE how Crish looks here. It totally captures her essence.

But this one… well this one is just classic.

-x-
aarti