No Fear for 40 Days
Posted by Aarti on March 1st, 2012 . Filed under: Uncategorized .If you read this blog with any regularity, then you know that I have a rather unhealthy problem with fear.
Opportunities that others see as adventures, I see as opportunities to fail, horribly. I just can’t see it any other way.
And while I was hoping that God would rid me of this fear by pressing some kind of fear-erasing button in my soul (that exists, right?!), I don’t think it works that way. In fact, I’m beginning to realize that the only way to face down fear is to… face it down. God keeps giving me opportunities to do just that. I’d like to say that I do a cartwheel every time one of those comes up, but usually, I just gripe at Him: “Come ON! Again? Really? Can this be the last time? Please, oh pretty please? I don’t like it! Stop making me do these things!”.
(And yes, I realise that I sound like a petulant 7-year old girl when I talk to God. You can go ahead and picture me that way if you like because I’m sure that’s just what God sees: mess of curls bouncing with rage, cheeks puffed out in a huff, lips pouting, little foot in patent leather mary jane stamping on the ground repeatedly. Ok, I’m laughing at myself now. At least I keep Him entertained, right? Huh? HUH?!)
God has lined up a pretty hectic month for me. Next Friday, I leave for South Africa (yaaaaay!) to do some press because, holy heck, my show is on the air there and it’s doing really well! GOOD LORD! Isn’t that amazing?
Three or four days later, I toodle off to Dubai (DOUBLE yaaaayyyy!) to do a couple of demos at the Taste of Dubai festival. I haven’t been home in a decade, and what a way to go back! Such a blessing.
Ok, THEN, I fly back to the States, via New York, where I’m shooting an episode of a show that scares the skinny jeans off me! I’m trying not to take it so seriously, and I’m determined not to let this single, solitary thing ruin the whole trip for me, but late at night, as I settle under the covers, that’s when the monster sticks an ugly toe out of my closet.
Fear starts bubbling. Tears start welling. It’s totally, utterly, wholly irrational, and what makes it worse? I feel horribly ungrateful for being scared of such incredible opportunities. So then I’m feeling scared and guilty at the same time! I’m a mess!
(Also, that image is from a Threadless tshirt that I think I need.)
But something kinda cool happened last Sunday.
I was sitting in church, listening to the sermon, when in what was either a rush of the Holy Spirit or a rush of caffeine from my morning cup of coffee, an excited thought popped into my head: “HEY! I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to give up fear for Lent! I’m just going to give it up! YEAH! That’s what I’m gonna do!”.
An hour later, once the afore-mentioned euphoria had evaporated, my grumpus settled in with a hmph.
“That’s the dumbest idea ever. We’re not doing that,” it said.
And that was that.
Until that evening, when I went back to church to see an amazing speaker. Somewhere in the middle of his talk, completely out of nowhere and apropos to nothing he says, “You know what? I think we should give up fear for Lent.”
“WHAT?” I yelled in my seat. (Luckily, it was louder in my head than it was in the room.)
Good God. Here’s a concept I’ve never heard of before, and then I hear it twice in one day?
So, yeah. Y’all might think I’m crazy but that’s too big of a sign for me to ignore. I’m just gonna give it up for Lent.
Just like that.
Sometimes, it just has to be that simple. It’s always been easier for me to give up a food entirely than allow myself to have it every now and then. There’s no thinking involved. Whenever the option or the craving presents itself, I just say, nope, can’t have it. It makes self-control so much easier. So, for the next fourty days (and how handy that Lent covers my entire trip!), fear isn’t an option. It’s off the menu. Whenever fear sticks his toe out of the closet, I’m not gonna look at him. I’m gonna look at Him. And hopefully, that will be enough for that moment.
What do you think?
-x-
aarti
March 1st, 2012 at 9:10 pm
Aarti – well first off – I love your blog and your food! So glad you won FNS.
Secondly, I think the “losing fear for Lent” is spot on. For Passover every year, I try to face one fear. It’s been hugely meaningful and successful. A way to cross the water, so to speak.
And I have always wondered why folks give up THINGS for Lent, when in the end, unless they are going to donate the money they would have spent on said things (which would be grand) to me then, it’s just suffering. Without learning or helping.
Your journey this year looks to be simple, powerful, helpful.
Hooray!
March 1st, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Oh my gosh, Aarti, I’m so jealous of your trip to South Africa. I lived there for awhile (1999-2000) and fell in love with the country. Not sure where you are doing, but my first real exposure to true Indian food was in Durban – huge population of Indian ex-pats there – and I fell in love with the cuisine. Please share your adventures there! And good luck with conquering fear – I have confidence you can do it.
March 1st, 2012 at 10:02 pm
I have been battling depression and have not been able to finish college since 10 years. The fear of not getting A’s, the fear of not being the best has gotten me to the lowest.
I am not a christian but I think Jesus wouldn’t mind if I observe Lent and give up fear, give up wanting to be the best and just work to make my life normal. Yes I shall do that. Thank you for Inspiring me Aarti.
March 1st, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Yep Aarti, when God repeats Himself… it’s time to listen. “Martha, Martha…”
Give Him a chance. Give yourself a chance. And prepare to be amazed! You go girl!
March 2nd, 2012 at 4:44 am
Perfect love casts out fear. Surround yourself with perfect love reminders (husband, family, music, art).
March 2nd, 2012 at 5:37 am
I will be toying through Dubai on my way to Tanzania this summer with my husband and TWO toddlers. Plenty people tell us there’s much to fear, but God is with us no matter what. He said He will never leave us or forsake us. And I consider that truth and find much comfort in it.
Sarto, He will never leave you or forsake you!
March 2nd, 2012 at 5:38 am
That should have waif “flying.” I am flying through Dubai.
So excited.
March 2nd, 2012 at 5:40 am
Said!
(This auto-correct is making me crazy!)
March 2nd, 2012 at 5:46 am
I love when that happens! When you think something and then keep hearing it over and over just out of nowhere!! You know that’s a sign! It confirms your thoughts for you.
I’ve given up white carbs (potatoes, rice, bread, pasta) for Lent. It is THE hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But everytime I think of what the sacrifice is for it emboldens me and I keep on going!
You’re wonderful Aarti and I wish you peace and happiness and a fear-free 40 days!
Love,
Michelle*
March 2nd, 2012 at 7:26 am
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
March 2nd, 2012 at 7:31 am
After I read your blog, I went to my devotion page and found this:
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encouragement/
March 2nd, 2012 at 8:12 am
Hi Aarti,
I guess if you can determine what exactly your fear is about, then maybe you can conquer it? For me, I fear that I won’t meet a timeline or that my documents are not written well enough. Then I try to think back of the timelines I missed (very rare) and documents written poorly (again, rare) and I realize that I come through always and should give myself more credit than I usually do. God is always good!
March 2nd, 2012 at 9:18 am
What an absolutely fantastic idea!!! I know you can do it! Thanks for being so vulnerable and not pretending you’ve always got it all together. It’s more inspiring than the people who never get mussed (those people just make me MAD sometimes!) Also, @Lois, I was chanting that verse like a mantra the other day; it always makes me well up!
March 2nd, 2012 at 9:51 am
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Fear and faith cannot co-exist.
March 2nd, 2012 at 1:25 pm
I think it’s AWESOME!
March 2nd, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Absolutely inspiring, and I love that you share your faith in this forum. Perhaps next year I will recosider what I gave up for lent and choose something more meaningful that giving up wine.
March 2nd, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Amen! Thanks for sharing! It always seems so difficult to be “anxious for nothing”. Thanks for the reminder that with the power of God we can just hand our fears over to Him!
March 3rd, 2012 at 9:10 am
I just Purchased my VIP tickets to Taste of Dubai and I am so excited about this event.
March 3rd, 2012 at 9:36 pm
one of the many things I love about you, is your fearlessness about being you. I love that you are just you, and that you put it all out there and trust that we find you as wonderful as we find you. And we do.
March 4th, 2012 at 9:31 am
Yes, amazing how much fear can hold us back. I instruct seniors (55 yrs and up) how to use the computer. And one of the first things I tell them is to NOT be afraid of the computer. It is just a machine like their kitchen gadgets and power tools. Also, when I was diagnosed with cancer and told I had 5 yrs to live (“Sorry, nothing we can do” the doctor said three different times), I was glad I was raised that it is usually what we don’t know that causes the fear…so find out. I found a sentence in a book at the library that M.D. Anderson had done a study on my cancer six years earlier. Twenty years later, I still praise God that my family taught me to fear nothing. Just as to do nothing is never an option either. You did notice I said TWENTY YEARS later I’m still praising His name for my family’s support, determination and courage to face life head on!
March 4th, 2012 at 10:53 am
It’s been said here before, but I think we can all hear it more often – fear and faith cannot live in the same body! God didn’t give you a spirit of FEAR – he gave you a spirit of FAITH. So, if God doesn’t give you fear, who does? Uh-huh. Speak down fear every time it appears – it isn’t of God so it can be cast down!!
March 4th, 2012 at 10:57 am
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Great idea and it was the Holy Spirit…not the caffeine:)
March 4th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I was talking to a dear friend of mine about Lent, and she had a very interesting challenge for herself over the next 40 days. Instead of “giving up” or “taking away” something for Lent, she is “taking on” a challenge. Her goal is take time every day to go through a very lengthy prayer, which ultimately gives her time to slow down her life and reconnect with God.
So, long story longer . . . Your glass is half full, Ms. Aarti!! You’re not taking away fear. You’re taking on more courage to handle any challenge that comes your way!
March 4th, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Aarti!
I know what I am going to say does not make a lot of sense with what you wrote but…
I just saw that you went to Chopped all stars!!!!
I can’t wait for the episode to air!!
I know that you did great
Hugs, Aarti
March 5th, 2012 at 8:26 am
I think you are amazing!
Several years ago I was living in fear. I memorized this verse: II Tim. 3:7
For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
The power and the love and the sound mind come from HIM.
Give it over to Him. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. No worries about tomorrow. Let the Holy Spirit lead and you will do great!
Sing this song: Christ liveth in me….
March 5th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I think this is a very cool and admirable thing to do! I’d have no idea where to start in practice, though. Let us know how it goes.
March 7th, 2012 at 10:45 am
I am DYING for a cookbook from you! Plz tell me that will happen soon! All of your food looks so good and so full of flavor….and pretty darn healthy! I need all of your ideas in a book that I can reference often! Please consider this plea!
March 7th, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Hi Aarti!
Thank you. I was introduced to your web shows and website from a mutual collegiate friend from Northwestern. Like yourself I am graduate of Culver City New Cooking School. My wife and I LOVE cooking and entertaining others. We host FUN Vietnamese Supper Parties in our cozy Culver City humble abode. EVERYONES INVITED! Just bring your smiles and your appetites.
Aarti your inspiring, engaging, and fun to watch! Keep up the amazing work.
Foo
March 8th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
I just LOVE your honestly and beautiful soul, lady! Wonderful idea, and a SIGN accompanied it! Go for it, girl!
March 8th, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Have discovered your show here in SA on foodnetwork,loving it! Watched your belly dance party last night, so fun! Kind of new to
Twitter so started following you there yesterday only to find out from your post and now your blog,your coming to SA. I’ve been here 7 yrs, originally from Chicago. If you’re making public appearances in Cape Town, please post it, would love to attend and meet you. If you’re looking for recommendations on places to visit or eat at in CT and wine lands, I’ve got plenty to share.
Safe travels and enjoy all the moments! You are so fun to watch and very inspirational.
March 10th, 2012 at 6:52 am
Okay, it’s starting to get eery how often I read your blog and feel like you’re writing about ME (minus the trips to Africa, Dubai and television recording studios of course!
. I frequently tell my husband that Aarti and I (and probably most of your blog followers) were really separated at birth. 
Every post you have written about fear – feeling like you’re really a fake at what you do and someday someone is going to find you out and say “you’re not really a chef”, fearing the opportunities that are such blessings – not only do I have those same struggles, but it seems like I’m having at the exact times that happen to get on the blog and you’re writing about them (providence!). Also, I gave up facebook for Lent, I look online, so did Aarti! I think about giving up fear for Lent – so did Aarti! Unfortunately I didn’t actually DO it, but its not too late right? I mean we can add it in the middle…? =)
On a more serious note, I just have to add, thank you, thank you, thank you sister, for being bold – not only in your Lenten journey, but in sharing your life, faith, struggles and triumphs here, so that the rest of us have someone we can actually relate to in the mediasphere! I’m cheering for you sister, with love from Dallas! Butt-kick that fear!!
March 11th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Oh, Aarti, thank you for sharing this. Thank you for being such an awesome encouragement, and for being REAL!! Giving up fear for Lent is brilliant. I love what Flutter said above: “you put it all out there and trust that we find you as wonderful as we find you.” So well said. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
March 15th, 2012 at 7:34 am
I think that’s a fabulous idea Aarti! I too struggle with fear of things that others see as “fun.” When I start to get myself worked up…I picture myself at the pearly gates and God asks me “Well, how was your stay on Earth? And would you change anything?” and I absolutely would change my worrying & fear. I’d hate to tell Him that I really didn’t like it that much because I spent most of my time worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter, won’t happen, etc. That puts things into perspective for me, and makes me rethink things when fear and anxiety decide they’re going to visit. Have a safe trip!
March 17th, 2012 at 9:12 pm
I love this. Thank you for boldly sharing your faith. Fearlessly, in fact! So encouraging! I struggle with being fearful about, well, virtually everything, it seems. I was extremely encouraged and challenged by the book “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. You may have already read it – I know it’s made big waves in the Christian community. But it really is SO good, and challenging. It really delves into the fact that sometimes the world is very scary, but our God is always, ALWAYS good no matter what happens…and everything from Him is a gift. Learning to look at life as a series of gifts from a loving Father, even if we don’t always understand the gifts – just like the Israelites didn’t understand the manna in the wilderness. Rather than complaining about the manna or fearing that God brought us to this place for ill, simply trusting Him. Well, it sounds simple, anyway.
Spending life like a treasure hunt, counting up gifts from God like gold scattered along the way, rather than fearing the unknown – the untasted manna – around the bend in the road. Anyway, sorry to ramble so – the book is far better than my attempt at a summary! Suffice to say, I still struggle with fear, but my perspective was so changed by this book! It is one of the most influential books I have read, other than the Bible, of course. I don’t know Ann or anything – no money trail here. I just loved the book and think every one who struggles with fear should read it! 
I need to read it again! Blessings in Christ, and remember that “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”. 
April 6th, 2012 at 4:38 am
hey aaryti, chip here, it was such a pleasure meeting you! I just wish we more time to tallk. anyway melissa called to tell me about her freind josh who has invented this iso cam . check this OUT ! kickstarter.com/projects4491633977/galileo-your-iso-in-motion ?ref search. goin to a party tonight speadin’ about aarti ! Had a frost last night in the nati, hopeing the strarrberries and lettice make it. You and B. have a great summer ! ( a ny thing) Peace – chip
April 7th, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Dear Aarti:
Now we all know what you were talking about when you published your blog about a show proposal that made you cry in front of the computer screen and this one about giving up fear…You are competing in “Chopped”! I will just say…Wow! I would have been really scared too, but I am sure you’ll do just fine.
I am super excited about watching that show and specially now that I know you’ll show up there at some point. I am missing you so much on Saturday mornings and I am really hoping we get “Aarti Party” back very soon.
Love your personality and your food!!!