The “accountability group”

Posted by Aarti on September 1st, 2010 . Filed under: Uncategorized .

Did you watch last Sunday’s episode, “What Storms May Come”? The one where I talked about feeding my accountability group?

I’m not a big fan of the term. It’s such a cold phrase to describe such a vital, beating part of my life… a part of my life that really and truly got me to where I am right now.

See, a couple of years ago, my friends Elena and Karen decided that they needed to create a weekly battle plan that would help them win their dream of being working actors.

And so, Bren and I joined them (and later, our friend Ross too). First, we plotted out our 10-year plan (where we’d like to be in 10 years), then our 5, then our 2, and finally, what we’d need to accomplish this year in order to be in a good place in the next. Then, in weekly meetings, usually on a Sunday night, we’d pull out our gorgeous calendars, and write out what we’d need to do each day to keep ourselves on track. We loosely followed Steven Covey’s “The 7 Habits…”. I say “loosely” because I confess, I didn’t read the whole thing. Thank Goodness Elena had!

This group came to be known as “bike gang”, because we’d often take our bikes down to the beach, ride down the boardwalk along the ocean, watch the sun set, then head back to the house for some dinner and some planning. I think we initially thought it made us sound tough too. We’d ride our bikes, knock traffic cones over in an abandoned parking lot, and then dutifully pick them back up again. Because you know, that’s what tough people do. Pick up after their delinquencies. Hahahaa!

Anyway, after meeting every week for 2 years, we are as close as family now. We’ve held each other through some hard times, encouraged each other when it just didn’t seem like we were making a dent in our dreams, celebrated each other’s victories when we finally did. And today, I really feel like I stand on their shoulders, their commitment.

Some of you asked me whether this was a church thing. It isn’t, although I have heard of church accountability groups and the idea sounds great! But you don’t have to do it that way. You just have to make a pact that you will be completely honest with each other, that each of you will be a source of unconditional love and support, that you will point out when your friend has been avoiding one particular task three weeks in a row even if you think it will make her mad… you have to be prepared to be challenged by your team on those areas of your life that you’d rather not face. It’s not easy. But the value of having someone break you out of empty patterns is priceless. Plus, for people like us in LA, who are so far away from our families, to have a group of people who are so close that when I go to their houses, I literally feel like I’m at home… that’s a blessing beyond compare.

So. Bren, Elena, Karen and Ross: thank you so much for being tireless in your exhortation and constructive criticism. I adore and treasure you. I pray that I can bless you the same way you have blessed me.

Do you have an accountability group? What do you think of the idea?

-x-
aarti

p.s. I’m reading that my “I Ain’t Chicken” Chicken smoked you guys out! Perhaps my oven at home isn’t at hot as yours! If that’s the case, then turn your oven down to 450. That should work just as well!

68 Responses to The “accountability group”

  1. Luke Leger

    Thanks for sharing that story with us Aarti. My wife and I kind of looked at each other like ‘what the heck’ when you mentioned your accountability group. It sounds like a wonderful thing, though. My cousin and I have that same kind of rapport, pushing each other creatively with some exciting results.

  2. Marie Burgess

    I love the idea of an accountability group but agree the name sounds a bit cold. What about goals club or something warmer. Hey, cinnamon girls might work.

    Made I ain’t chicken chicken last night with roasted taters. Both were delicious. My, my ground cardamom is expensive!

    Thanks for all the great ideas. Keep ‘em coming.

    Marie

  3. Carmen

    Aarti I looked forward to reading a new post in your blog! And find out more about your accountability group, since I was curious after watching your show on Sunday! I wondered if the group was what helped you follow your dreams with the cooking show! I’m a huge believer in positive energy into the universe. It is wonderful to see great things happen to good people. I know that your humble spirit sometimes got you tripped up, but it showed your human side. Made me laugh to read that others had the same smoke out after cooking the chicken. It was delicious and I learned alot from your show! Thank you!

  4. Michele Cordray

    I don’t currently have an accountability group, but man! I sure wish I did. I desperately need something like that. It sounds so warm and comforting.

    Dang, I can’t even think of people that I could ask to be in a group with me. I really need to make some friends. LOL!

  5. Cheryl

    I was surprised when you mentioned your accountability group because I’ve been a part of one at various times in my life. I miss being a part of one since I moved. You can always call it “Iron sharpens Iron” so it can iclude the guys in your group

  6. Lira

    I love this! I love the idea (I need an accountability group of my own), your story, and especially what you said about becoming family. I call my closest L.A. friends my “chosen family,” and they are every bit as important to me as my biological family. At the best and worst times in my life, that circle has surrounded me with so much love and support and been there in ways that my bio family, hundreds of miles away, could not be. It’s truly priceless.

    I’m sitting here smiling, thinking how inspirational and motivating your success must be for the rest of the group. Bet it’s kicked everybody’s goals into high gear. :)

  7. Michelle

    I’m so glad you explained your group. I kinda wish you had on the show – your menu makes more sense now somehow. We all could use a group of friends like that.

  8. Susie's Homemade

    I love this idea too! Gosh, now I am thinking who I would include (or not include) in such a group:-)

  9. Elaine Markley

    Love your new show, Aarti! My husband and I were rooting for you from the very beginning. Congratulations. I’m looking forward to trying many of your recipes.

    I, too, was wondering what an accountability group was. Great idea, although, at this point in my life, I’m just relaxing, having accomplished everything I set out to do. An accountability group would have been great, although I got support from family and friends when I needed it most.

    Again, congratulations on your win and your wonderful new show!

  10. Vi

    Wow! I love that Aarti! ps, will you be planning to move into a house w/ a bigger kitchen? i have 7 kids so are always tripping over one another… oh to dream….. ;-)

  11. Kathryn

    I want such a group. What a great idea in so many ways but especially working together like that. Thanks for sharing!

  12. Deliciously Organic

    We are a military family, so I’ve been in several different accountability groups through the years. It’s great to have people in your life that you know you can trust and who will hold you accountable to make the right choices. One friend in particular has held my hand through the best and worst of times and told-it-to-me-straight at those times when I needed it most. Those are the relationships I hold closest to my heart.

    Our whole family loves your show! My kids remind me each week to record it so we won’t miss a single episode. I’m thrilled to learn how to cook with Indian flavors – it’s something I’ve wanted to learn for a long time!

  13. Pamela

    Our family was so excited that you won the Next Food Network Star!! Your blog is so fun! A window into your life. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. My husband and I have wondered about your religious beliefs, especially after last week’s “accountability group” episode. We are born again believers in Jesus Christ and love India. Our ministry is to help orphans in India and we love the food!!! So you’re show is such an inspiration to us. May God continue to pour out His blessings on you and your husband. Look forward to more posts! God bless!

  14. Alicia Walters

    Aarti,

    I love your show! I am so excited about it. I love the steel sheet/spice thing your uncle made for you and would like to do something like that. I love the accountability group and I think it’s a fabulous idea. Thanks for sharing your great personality and cooking!

    Alicia

  15. Janel

    Hi Aarti,

    I was wondering what the accountablity group was and now after reading your blog I have contacted my girlfriend so that we can organize one of our own. Here’s to making your dreams come true. God bless and big smooches :)

  16. Janel

    P.S. I love the bread pudding

  17. Rani

    I think it’s a great idea…however, once a week? Oh I couldn’t find the time if I tried! Great show last week!

  18. Adelina

    I have not tried the chicken, but it’s on my to do list.

    Thanks for sharing about the accountability group. I would love to try something like this. I am assuming I can’t do it with my hubby since we would just argue. haha.

  19. Alison

    Aarti, I have been silently following your blog for many weeks and am BEYOND thrilled that you won NFNS! From week one I knew it would be you, and to learn that you were a Christian was the “ah ha” moment – I recognized the spark in you that can only come from Jesus! I’m tickled by all of the comments about your accountability group; it’s a concept close to my heart as a Christian desiring to be more like Christ every day (and failing most of the time; praise God for His grace each day!). I love that you’ve made the concept accessible to everyone through your show….and everyone thought it was “just” about the cooking. Well done! Thanks oodles and oodles for all you’ve done – it is a JOY to watch you. Keep your eyes on Jesus and He will bless you abundantly as you obey and grow in Him. (P.S. Love Pamela’s comment above!)

  20. Jennie

    Hi Aarti! Loved the show on Sunday – I will definitely be trying all three recipes….the bread pudding looks delicious! I love the idea of an accountability group set up for the purpose of reaching goals. I’m in one from a Christian standpoint, and it’s been wonderful to have ladies in my life who ask me the hard questions and love me regardless of my answer. Hope you are LOVING your new job!

    I have a random question for you – do you know if I can freeze caramelized onions to use later? I made a caramelized onion and roasted eggplant pizza tonight, and I have some onions leftover. Those stinkin’ things take so long, I hate to throw them away! :)

  21. Heidi's Recipes

    Love gorgeous calendars! Love your show! Want to make everything!

  22. isabelle

    This is a great idea!! I don’t have a group of people that I can do this with, but it looks like I need to start looking around me as to who would be a good candidate to hold me accountable for the things that I want in my life! Made me think! THANKS!!

  23. Nabeela

    Oh my…the accountability group idea sounds awesome. Unfortunately, my family and friends do not hold me accountable and do not ask me tough questions even when I ask them to. I have so many goals in life and I would love to achieve at least one of them but I definitely need help :(

  24. TJ

    I think the idea is wonderful. I have friends who I check in on and check in on me. We’re not an organized group per se, but we encourage each other and help each other to stay on track.

  25. Mary Poulin

    Thanks for sharing

  26. Jonny

    Hi Aarti!
    I’m a huge fan of yours, both personally and professionally. As I can’t seem to find any other way to get in contact with you, I thought I’d leave you a message here. I write for a video game news blog called Game Rant and we’ve been focusing on unique ideas for editorials. An inside joke in the gaming scene is that gamers subsist on mostly Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Riffing on this joke, we would like to do a short interview with you and then maybe get 3-5 recipes for quick, relatively healthy snacks and drinks that our readers can prepare for themselves. We think it would be a big hit and maybe direct readers to your blog that otherwise wouldn’t be interested in visiting. Thank you for your time and I would love to hear back from you.

    Best,

    Jonny Poole (jont...@gmail.com)

  27. beves

    Good Day Aarti.
    My wife and I became huge fans watching and enjoying your rise to the top of The Next Food Network Star. Just wanted to wish you all the best.
    Unfortunately for us that seems it will be the only time we will be able to see you. Apparently because we live in Canada, the Food Network is apparently not planning on allowing us the pleasure of enjoying your new show.
    Will follow you through your blog which i just found.
    Wishing you good luck and keep on smiling.
    B & T

  28. Cynthia

    I would suggest using an oven thermometer in your oven when making the dishes you’re going to prepare for your show, so that the temp you give to us is accurate. I use one in all of my ovens. In some dishes, a temp variation can really make a difference and not in a good way.

  29. Ritchie

    Dear Aarti,

    Congratulations on winning The Next Food Network Star! We were watching the final episode and my wife was rooting for you all the way!

    I am actually representing and would like to explore a possible partnership between you and some of our clients.

    I would like to know what would be the best way to reach you and to arrange for a preliminary meeting to introduce ourselves.

    I look forward to hearing back from you!

    Ritchie

  30. Joel

    Aarti,
    First time posting here, and first time on your blog. My husband and I were rooting for you from the beginning. Congratulations! Your show is set to tape and save until I erase on my DVR.

    Indian cuisine is among my favorites, and I’m so glad the Food Network is adding a show to make it more accessible to the American public. And you are the perfect person to introduce it! I hope that you plan to continue introducing us to basics, as well as adding your special flair to more familiar dishes (whenever we go out for Indian food, I have to tell my husband “Mark, it’ll be okay. They have tandoori chicken!”). I’m trying your “It Ain’t Chicken” this weekend. And I look forward to getting your insights into the more exotic and characteristic dishes of India.

    Good luck! We’ll be watching. And keep on laughing!

  31. Meredith

    I think an accountability group is an excellent idea. Thank you for sharing more about your accountability group with us — my curiosity was piqued during your last episode of Aarti Party.

  32. Amber Haas

    Love the idea about the group. Such a great way to find support and to support others. :) Thank you for sharing this story!

  33. Jen

    loved watching the show! we all love to to cook and watched it together. the bread pudding looked divine!

    I have to tell you that your Iron Chef episode totally inspired me a couple of weeks ago… I put WAY too much spice in the chili I was making for the family and I needed a way to cool it off. I tried adding more beans but it was really really spicy. Most people could just add sour cream – but my daughter is severely allergic to milk so that’s a no go in our house.

    I turned to coconut milk! I had 2 cans in the pantry and they not only cooled off the spice, but the chili was the best ever. my girls want me to add coconut milk every time!

    anyway — so glad to see you doing your thing. love love love the recipes and ideas.

    OH — one more thing. We went to a BBQ last weekend and my friend had made Kale salad with mangoes… so delish! I need to add that one to the dinner rotation for sure.

    Love and blessings!
    Jen

  34. Bernadette U

    Oh, I DIG this! What a great idea, I love the cutie calendars too…no better way to stay inspired than a cute calendar with deadlines and a group of dear friends to kick you in the pants when you need it and hug you when you need THAT instead. :) Must fetch friends for MY group….!

  35. Mackenzie

    My husband and I were wondering about your accountability group. What a great idea! Keep up the great work on the show!

  36. zunguri

    You mentioned your “accountability group” so often in that episode that I had to go Google it to find out what it is. At first I thought it sounded like something I would recommend our elected officials join but, maybe not…

    Made your Huggy Buggy tonight. Fabulous! Now I have to try to find a way to make it sugar free and still taste right.

    I have to wonder if you’ve ever made a savory bread pudding? I’m curious what the taste profile would be.

  37. Laikuen

    Hi Aarti,

    Me and boyfriend have been following you on season 6 of the next food nextwork stars here in Toronto, Canada and have been routing for since the beginning. Kevin always says from the get go that this whole competition is for Aarti to lose meaning that you have to screw up royally in order to not win!!!!

    After the season finally I have eagerly await to see if your show would air on our food network…and unfortunately no sign of it and the US network blocks our access online Boooo.

    But I am catching up on your blog and your quick bites. You are such a joy to watch and an inspiration. Just want to know you have fans in the great white north!

    Happy Cooking from a new fan,
    Christina
    Toronto, ON

  38. Lori

    Aarti, you are an inspiration in every way. GO GIRL! So happy for your success!!!

  39. Susie

    Incidentally, Mark Bittman did a butter in white meat chicken with bone and skin video a few weeks ago –(he made a deep slit in the chicken and stuffed the butter in)— but he did his on the grill starting it skin side up on indirect heat and turning it the last few minutes…… That would solve the smoke issue…….

    This may sound like a goofy request but for next season and I’m counting on a next season ;) when you introduce an ingredient like a Mango, Could you tell use how to pick it and how to tell when its ripe or overripe???? It may seem basic to you but for many of us a Mango, Pomegranate, starfruit, etc is something that we’ve never
    used…….Love your show………

  40. Terrye

    Love the great recipes! They are simple enough for me to follow, yet unique enough that I’m learning new things…keep those recipes coming!
    And yes, I’m part of an accountability group. In our group we have young and old, it’s wonderful to have advice from every age.

  41. Samara Link

    Hi, Aarti! First time to comment. In fact, today is the first day I found your blog. I’ll be doing some catching up on it now that I know you have one. Congratulations on your big win!! We (my husband and I) were totally pulling for you. You’ve been a pleasure “to get to know” on the Next Food Network Star. I was saying all along how I would love for you to win because not only are you absolutely adorable, but I love the food you make!! You use so much lovely energy and amazing flavors. I have your show set to record weekly, and I’m just thrilled for you to be on such an incredible journey. I made your BLCs and Ugly Duckling Salad this week for dinner — both were fabulous, Aarti! I featured them on a little post on my blog today. :) Congratulations again and thanks for the food-spiration.

    http://linkadventure.blogspot.com/2010/09/labor-day-weekend-food-ideas.html

  42. jen

    Hi, Aarti: I love your blog. I just started reading when I saw that you won the “Next Food Network Star.”

    As far as an accountability group goes, I think it’s a good idea. It’s good to have friends that will be honest with you and lift you up (instead of tearing you down). I work as a special ed teacher with preschool children and I have this wonderful assistant whose not only a great assistant but a good friend. She was one of the reasons she got me through a very tough, trying year.

    You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!

  43. Bill Goldsworthy

    Hi Aarti!

    My wife and I cooked your I Ain’t Chicken Chicken and Huggy Buggy Bread Pudding this afternoon and loved them both! We rooted for you throughout The Next Food Network Star, and in our humble opinion, we think you’re going to be one of the most successful stars on the Food Network.

    Good luck and thanks again for these great recipes!

  44. Kathy from PA

    Aarti- I can’t WAIT to make you a big part of my life in the kitchen. My husband and I were rooting for you the entire season because we LOVE Indian food, but have always been afraid to make it at home. Now that you’ve won, I’ve started buying the spices because you make it all seem _so accessible and do-able_!!! All I need at the moment is garam masala and I’m set with the basic Indian spices. The grocer promises to have it in by next week. We are so excited for you and look forward to every chance we get to watch you. Those Bombay Sloppy Joe’s are BRILLIANT!!!

  45. Jill Mitchell

    I love watching you! You are such an inspiration to me Aarti and I just found out about your blog. I rooted for you the entire season of Next Foodnetwork Star and I am so happy you won! I started watching your blog a few days ago and have almost caught up already! You just have this glow about you and are so amazing to wach. You are really inspiring and I know your new show on the Food Network will be a hit. I for one will be watching every week and I hope you keep blogging too. I love your spunk and down to earth style. I made your lamb kabobs and lentils last night and, Amazing! Loved them! So did my boyfriend and tonight we are making Naan Pizza so Ill let you know how that turns out! I love you Aarti and can’t wait to try more of your recipes! I had no idea how delicious Indian spices are and was always intimidated to try to use them. Thanks to you, I have conquered my fear! Ill be watching you tomorrow on Food Network and cant wait to see what you bring to the table this week!

    Your New Biggest Fan,

    Jill

  46. Lakshmi

    Hi Aarti

    Love your show. It feels so nice that there is finally a show on Food Network that brings the Indian cuisine into the limelight.

    Great work. My 6 year old daughter is a big fan of you and your show too :) She reminds me to watch your show.

    Good luck! Keep up the good work!

  47. Amy

    My hubby made a modified version of your chicken with honey butter ane cayanne. Yummy!

  48. owie

    Hi Aarti
    I just saw your latest show today, I was stunned when you said proudly that your mom successfully ‘smuggled’ mango paste into America .. you should know better not to say that, because it would encourage people to smuggle prohibited foods into US. Your mom was lucky not getting trouble for that, what if she got the random check and had to pay $10,000 fine for the stuffs (foods) she brought in. I travel a lot to Asia, so I know how tight the custom rules are.

    good luck on your next show. btw..I like your kale mango salad ( I substitutes mango to peaches)

  49. NiruR

    Oh, relax, “Owie”… Aarti’s mum did nothing illegal, Aarti was joking. There was nothing illegal about bringing sealed, pre-packaged foods like mango puree into the country. You can buy it in Indian markets all over the US!

  50. Carrie (Love Healthy Living)

    Hi Aartie, just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you won the show. You’re awesome and your cooking has inspired me to try cooking Indian food. Keep up the good work!!!

  51. Nate

    Hey!

    Loved the past couple of episodes! I cannot wait to make the pulled pork sandwiches :) I too have an accountability group. It’s so great to feel loved and encouraged! Pumped that you have one too!

    Blessings!

  52. Jessica

    Hi Aarti, my husband and I LOVE you! We knew you were going to win from the very start. I have to tell you that I hated sloppy joes as a kid, and as an adult, wouldn’t ever step anywhere near them. But your show, and your ingredients in that amazing recipe looked incredible. And I have to admit that we have made them twice now! So, so good! And it’s a sloppy joe, I can’t believe you’ve converted me! Thank you, thank you for that! We just watched the accountability show and can’t wait to try all of those recipes. I’m a Barefoot Contessa fanatic, but I’m also now an Aarti Paarti lover! Each time we’ve made your recipe we joke that we’re having an Aarti Paarti!
    Congratulations on winning and I can’t wait to watch you every week!

  53. Monique@She's Going The Distance

    This is such an awesome post!! I love learning about the people behind the show and your inspiration <3!!!

  54. owie

    @ NiruR… have ever brought a prepackaged and sealed food and declared it with the custom at the airport? I have and they threw away my pineapple cookies.. so I think it’s not okay bringing foods that contain fruits and meats.. moreover ‘smuggler’ it and joke about it..

    So I think if we can buy the foods here in US, why do we need to ‘smuggler’ them and break our custom law..

    Aarti, what I mean here is.. in the future please watch what you say on your show, you are a public figure now.. thank you and I’ll keep watching your show

  55. Earlene

    I love your show! I am a big fan and was rooting for you, glad you won!

  56. Momma Goose

    Dear Aarti,

    Thank you so much for the inspiration. I did hear you refer to your “accountability group,” and I told myself I would figure out what that meant, but apparently I couldn’t even be held accountable to do that. Haha. Guess I’d better form a Biker Gang of my own!! :)

    Love,
    Momma Goose

    PS: For many reasons, I was a major fan of yours right from the first episode of NFNS!

    PPS: Because of you, I now wear a flower in my hair many days, and everytime I do, it makes me feel alive, optimistic and beautiful!! MUAH!!

  57. Tanya Geisler

    Hi Aarti –

    Just found you..am so glad that I did. I love your energy and your enthusiasm is off the hook (this is good!)

    Thank you for bringing accountability groups to the table (no pun intended). They are incredibly powerful structures that I encourage my coaching clients to consider creating (in their personal lives and for their businesses). Accountability partnerships work wonders too, as do personal advisory boards and mastermind groups. The last two have different qualities, though.

    Thanks again!!
    Tanya

  58. Leia

    Hello Aarti,

    I have a question for you? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
    The world need more people like you and I am just so glad I watch food network. You may doubt it but… you are truly an inspiration. You deservedly Won!!
    Just a quick comment about the “accountability group” phrase: It is far from cold! AFter all, it express “liable to account” and…isn’t that the goal? =)
    May the Lord bless you!

    SIncerely,
    Leia Egan

  59. Jenner

    What a great idea. I wish I had a terrific support group like you do. I live in such a small town that most of my encouragement (and entertainment) comes from the good ol’ internet. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met a lot of wonderful people here. Just wish they lived closer!!

    jennerspeaks.blogspot.com

  60. Adi

    I had to post when I read the smoke out comment. The chicken was good, and now I know that my smoke detectors work! :)

    Congrats on winning NFNS. My husband and I were cheering you on throughout the season and are so happy you won. Your food and your faith are blessings to us each time we watch. Keep it up, sister! You’re doing great!

  61. Angie

    I would never watch your show or anyothers that wrere up for finalist. I don’t know where I can post this information. But It’s making me crazy that no one cares. EVERYONE I speak with feels the same. So why are our opionions not being counted.
    GO AWAY……..

  62. Angie

    No one i know wants to watch your show or any of the other finalist. Yours at the least! I just don’t know what they were thinking. I would rather watch turtles mate!

  63. Nicole

    Aarti,
    I absolutely love you! The episode about you cooking for your accountability group made me so happy. I meet with a group of friends every friday night for bible study and to encourage each other. We always get together and cook dinner together – usually a different ethnic theme each week. Now we’re so excited to try Indian!

    You are a beautiful woman and I am so proud of you! May you and Bren be completely blessed!

  64. CD

    Thanks so much about revealing what the Accountability Group is about… what a blessing to have a group like this, and I’m inspired to start one too.

    Loving your show!!

  65. Londyn

    I really was wondering what your accountability group was all about, so it’s interesting to learn more about it. Now I’m thinking of starting one too!!

  66. Seena

    I came back to read this post again. I love the idea. And you are definitely a testimony that this kind of dreaming, planning, hard work and encouragement will take you where you want to go. :) I love the sentence-”But the value of having someone break you out of empty patterns is priceless.” I hope we all can have that ‘someone’ and be that ‘someone’. Congratulations on your second season!!

  67. Oh, the places we’ll go! « The Life Anonymous Girls

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